When I saw that Gary had called, I was thrilled. Since going on one Match.com date, I'd awaited his missives. Usually, these were sporadic and at odd hours. I should have stopped responding, but I was physically attracted to him⎯something that didn't happen often. With heart palpitating, I played his voicemail message. It said: "Do you want to go to lunch and a movie tomorrow? My mother's in town. She'll pay."
Recently, a friend had a five-hour date with a woman he'd met on J-Date. They laughed and talked their heads off. Afterward, she wouldn't return his calls. "What happened?" he asked me. Truthfully, I have no idea why this woman dumped my buddy. I'd venture to say⎯barring a nasty diagnosis or a death in her immediate family⎯she wasn't attracted, even though she liked him. A lot. In other words, she was either avoiding an act of rejection, or she was using him for his brain. If you don't want hot monkey love with a particular human, you need to communicate that. ASAP. I mean, now.
"I hurt myself last night, but I can't say what I did," confessed one potential paramour over Pad Thai. I was blindsided. We'd been hanging out for six weeks, and I thought there was potential. Now I was being tested on a subject I knew nothing about. I'm really vanilla (not into fetishes or scenes). If you don't want someone like me, please let your freak flag fly right away. That way both of us can cut our losses and move on.