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Despite the fact that approach is actually one of the least important parts of dating , it usually remains one of the most terrifying for many men. Lots of guys, especially guys who are shy, suffer from approach anxiety , or who are socially inexperienced, dread approaching women the way I dread the hooded figures from the the dog park 1 or the giant spider-like things that shuffle out of the Underdark when it’s 3 AM and I haven’t been sleeping and also I’ve taken a heroic dose of Mescaline.
Many men wish that women would make things easier by being willing to take the initiative themselves. But, despite social progress and the ardent wishes of many, many men, the accepted cultural narrative places the onus on men to make the first move. And in fairness, there are women who simply prefer men to be the aggressor and won’t be the one to approach them. But there are also plenty of women who can and do approach guys provided he’s the right guy.
Look, there’s no getting around this: if you want to be the sort of guy that women approach, you have to put some effort into your appearance. You don’t have to look like Michael Ealy or Ian Sommerhalder, but if you’re looking like you rolled out of bed and into whatever happened to be on the floor around you, women aren’t going to be inclined to linger in your presence no matter how hot you are or aren’t.