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I've been dating a guy online for a month, and he brought up the idea of being exclusive, to which I agreed. At what point should I take down my dating.

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I''ve been dating a guy online for a month, and he brought up the idea of being exclusive, to which I agreed. At what point should I take down my dating.

Hey Everyone, another great installment of Gentlemen's DisAgreement is ready for your consumption! In this episode, Julie Sharbutt joins the pod to talk about Oscar Noms, Selma , and the long winding journey of writing, directing, producing, and starring in her own film: Moved.  Take a listen and buy her films on Itunes or Amazon !  

It isn t that you attract men like this, it is that you are attracted to men like this. You are swimming in a sea of kind, nice, responsible men, but they are invisible to you. Think about all of those men you know who will make some lucky girl (but not you) a great boyfriend/husband one day. These are who I m talking about. Don t get me wrong; you don t owe it to them to date them. In fact, you would be unkind dating them since you aren t attracted to them. However, keep in mind that since there are roughly the same number of men and women that for every man who can t get his romantic life in order there must somewhere out there be a woman who is equally frustrated. The lesson here isn t to settle for the wrong man but to out compete your female peers for the right kind of man, and when you find him don t be foolish enough to let someone else snap him up. The problem is that men with what are called "dark triad" traits tend to be very attractive. This is especially true when women are ovulating, but is still generally true the rest of the time. See the article linked in the sources for just one example, but as a psych major you should be able to pull up a ton of studies on this. While popular culture is hopelessly confused on the real dynamic between men and women, Evolutionary Psychologists have this pretty well hammered out. Unfortunately feminism has made what has historically been a nagging problem for women a much more serious one. Women are attracted to men who lead them, and this is the reason behind the cliché of the wife who falls in love with her boss. Feminism teaches women to never follow a man, and it teaches men not to lead but to follow women. Nice, well adjusted, rule following men hear this message and fall for the trap. This is why you want to put them in the "friend zone" instead of have them as a boyfriend. At the same time men who don t follow the rules don t listen to the message of our popular culture. These men won t follow you, but instead lead. This makes them exciting and attractive, but the problem is they aren t men you can trust to lead you somewhere good. In between the boring sensitive new age guys and the dark triad "alpha" men are men who are strong enough to lead but good enough to trust. These are unfortunately a fairly rare breed, so if you find one you should hang on to him while your friends keep falling for the alpha jerks and trying (and failing) to fall for the overly timid nice guys. One thing which will help a great deal is to make it a point to let a nicer man like this be the leader. Some things can be more of a ritual, like letting him drive, plan the date, etc. As a Psych major I m sure you can think of a whole list of things which would make a good feminist cringe. Good luck!

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