Topics: Stories from Slate - Slate Magazine

Actress Laverne Cox has been a forceful advocate for transgender women. She wants the world to know, however, that “gender policing” hurts everyone, and, in particular, men who date transgender women feel its effects in an intensely harsh way. And, she says, these men need someone high-profile among them to come out of this specific kind of closet.

“Most men who are attracted to and date transgender women are probably stigmatized more than trans women are,” she observed in an interview with me on SiriusXM Progress. “I think a man who is dating trans women, who is a celebrity, or famous or is an athlete or something, needs to come forward –- or a musician –- and needs to say, ‘I love transgender women and [they] deserve to be loved and I’m going to declare that publicly.’ I think those men need some sort of inspiration and hope, so they can live more authentically.”

With the third season of " Orange is the New Black " recently released on Netflix, Cox, who plays transgender prison inmate Sophia Burset, is juggling interview requests and appearing on magazine covers –- including Entertainment Weekly, dressed as Lady Liberty herself -– and talking about not only her role in the groundbreaking series but also how she’s managing fame and using her platform to advocate for transgender people – and for all of us, living in a society in which rigid gender norms are enforced.

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My heart was beating a little faster as I walked down the hotel hallway. I had done this plenty of times before, but Mark’s voice had betrayed a different kind of nervous energy than I was accustomed to. There was an edge to it.

I’m often the first trans woman a guy has been with. I’m white, passable, easy-going, confident, and a strict bottom—for the most part, I’m just a hot chick they get to have anal sex with. I’ve come to enjoy first-timers. It’s my specialty. I like their innocent anxiousness, the relief that washes over them when they see me and realize I’m even more attractive than they hoped. I know how to put them at ease, get them excited, make sure we both have a good time, and inevitably leave them hooked. I pride myself on being a kind of ambassador to trans sex.

What I’m really seeking is affirmation of my womanhood, and this is the most available means of doing it. No one is more anxious about their sexuality that straight cis men, no one more frightened of being labeled “gay.” This is especially true for first-timers. Hooking up with them is like handling a volatile explosive—and I like the rush. I need that intensity. It’s the only thing that keeps the din of self-doubt and self-loathing at bay. Their wanting me is the proof I need of who I am.

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A hybrid race has been born of trans-humanists who want to become “one” with technology and connect everyone to the cyber world.

Yes, I m a transwoman myself. So yeah! Go out there and meet anyone you want ;)

I dated two guys when I was transitioning the first relationship was a disaster because he could not even come close to handling my being a pre op transsexual woman. The second guy was totally open minded and understanding of my being a pre op transsexual woman, in fact he is now my husband. But I was lucky to find him, so my advise to you would as Leah and other have said worry about transition first then date afterwards